December 22th by: Jennifer Eberhard

There is so much that goes into Christmas preparation, that when someone asks me if I am ready? I want to laugh and cry at the same time. N-o-p-e! I am not ready! Most of the time even on Christmas Eve, I am not ready. And by then I am worn out, frazzled, tired and certifiably down right grumpy! My husband can attest to this and will!

This year has been very different from many previous. This year has been much more hectic and wild, mainly because this is my first year working in a church during Advent. And whew! What a rush it has been. This year, my only saving grace is that personally life has been different as well.

After all, this year was the first time (ever!) that I had my holiday budget ready and even wrapped the presents, that I had been hording in the closet for a year, on December 1st. Now, I don't know if any of you will understand what a task that was for me! :-) *smiley* Remember, this is coming from the girl who for years hasn't wrapped anything until I had to leave for that specific family's house. Wow, I just thought that if anyone was coming to my house, I would probably never get anything wrapped without that last minute pressure, popping on bows and name tags while walking out the door or even while driving.

But like I was saying, this year is different! :-) And after taking the time a few weeks ago, about an hour on the phone and about 15 emails, back and forth between our two families- trying to plan out David and my holiday schedule, I am almost there. Still not quite ready for anything, but I am preparing to try and make this year the best Christmas yet. :-)

I am also trying to prepare in order to really be ready in another way this year, which unfortunately I haven’t always done. If fact, I think the last two or three Christmas's have been the worst, because of this one forgotten item of preparation. This year, with the help of working here with you all at the church, I have again realized how important it is to prepare ourselves, our hearts for the Christmas message that "A Savior is Born" and in turn the Easter message that "Christ has Risen".


I have failed to see that these past few years, and I have personally missed it so much that it hurt physically. If you are there, if you have ever been there, my heart goes out to you, I understand.

I didn't even notice the first year, with everything going on, so busy with this and that- it was just pushed aside and forgotten. Trying to mix family traditions, go to a Christmas Eve service that fits in our schedule, get presents shopped for and wrapped & still be happy and joyful by the time we do actually get to see and visit with family has been a daunting and difficult process. The last few years have only gotten worse; even to the point that it made me want to skip Christmas this year. Now, don't get me wrong, not everything has been bad the last few years, but there have been attitudes thrown around and many harsh words, creating broken hearts and feelings hurt. Even while writing this, I realize how much I have held on & how much I still allow it to hurt me years later.

Now, you might think that I am just ranting and raving, rambling off into nothing, but I think you needed to know that piece of my story before you can come with me for the rest.

It hasn't been what I would call fun. It has been sad, awful, and painful, not what Christmas is supposed to be about. I remember drinking a glass too much of wine, I also remember David asking me what my problem was, I didn't have the right answer. Later that night driving home by myself, I was crying again. The third year in a row, I was crying after leaving family Christmas. It had been building in my head, that it was them. Everyone else was ruining MY Christmas. And how dare they, they don’t even celebrate the real meaning, they don’t get it like I do. It became true in my head, that they were the Christmas enemy. But I was wrong, I was so wrong! In the end, I was the enemy. It was me. I had completely taken MY Christ out of MY Christmas.

I have realized throughout this year, and I am sure I will have to continue to learn and realize this as my years go on, but I am not in control. God is in control; God does let things happen for different reasons, sometimes they don’t make sense for a while and some times they don’t make sense ever. But when things do or don’t happen- God is controlling them. The word “control”, also means manage, organize, in charge of, have power over and calculating. It doesn’t mean that things are forced and pushed into holes where they don’t belong- that is not control.

On the other hand, I need to be in control, of myself that is, my emotions and my actions. I need to manager, organize, be in charge of, and have power over my emotions and reactions to the parts of this world that don’t always seem to match up as I was expecting, and to be calculating on how my emotions and actions will transfer and spread with others. I have Jesus as my buffer, my Savior in life and my friend in this world, I get to decide how I will let things affect me, how and IF I choose to let events or words change my mood, my spirit. Scary, to think that I might be the only witness and only Jesus some people might know, especially when I am acting like I am in control and that I am what matters most. What other time of the year, is more important to show people Christ in our daily actions, and in our family interactions? Share your Christ, the real reason for the season, the only reason for the season, with everyone around you. Share by the actions that you take, the words that you say and sometimes most importantly the re-actions that you don’t take and the words that you don’t say.

The holiday tension has grown through the years, but this year is different, I am different this year! I have the birth of my Savior to celebrate, and I intend on doing just that! I am celebrating MY Christ this Christmas.

Yes, I am sure that things won’t go perfectly, shoot, I will even bet that I will be late for Christmas Eve dinner (again), but I will try to make it on time, maybe even early. I am also planning to come to the 10:30pm Christmas Eve service at First Pres, making sure it won't be skipped this year. Because, my presence is my gift to my God. My very small way of centering in him and saying thanks for sending Jesus, so that we can get ready; this time not for Christmas, but for an eternity spent in Heaven. When we take the opportunity to invite Jesus into our lives and into our hearts, we are getting ready. When we let God’s living word into us, to forever affect our lives, and to be in God’s presence with prayer, we are getting ready. When we share the Christ child’s story, when we share his resurrection, we are getting ready. So no matter what you do to get ready for Christmas, or whether you are ready yet or not- you can still get ready for Christ’s return, and just the same way Christmas comes every year, ready or not someday He will come.

R U RDY?

Jennifer Eberhard